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Monday, December 15, 2008

Beautiful Mess

Hubby and I sat for a while Saturday night looking at our tree. When he said it looked like a 'beautiful mess, just like our lives', I couldn't have agreed more. Our tree is ginormous, 2 ft taller than the tag said. The branches are just everywhere, and sticking out in the oddest places, some areas bald. The top is so crooked, it took 15 minutes of bending to get it to stand semi-straight for our tree-topper. We have 3 strands of multi-colored dome LED and 3 strands cool white mini LEDs, alternating. We don't have a single matching ornament, only ones that have a history, and have a random blue and silver garland around it that doesn't even go to the bottom of the tree. But its gorgeous. It has character. It speaks. It seriously is just like our lives.

This year has probably been the biggest test of us as humans, and us as a family. We have gone from multiple car accidents, to deaths of loved ones, to incidents involving authorities, to daycare issues, to loss of relationships, to the short-sale of our home, to numerous medical issues, to struggling faith, to LOTS of drama (98% of it pointless and unnecessary), to major financial hardship- all in a years time. We look at each incident that has happened in the past year, and are in shock to see ourselves still standing where we do. I have no clue why or how God put us on this track of the struggles we have faced this year.

I can look back to this past year and count how many things impacted our lives in a positive way. Sad, because our lives should be filled with constant joy- too many to count. But if it weren't for my 2 precious children, I cannot say where we would be right now. There's one thing to be said though, about this beautiful mess we call our lives. Our marriage is strengthening. While having our babies, and our focus was forced into another direction, we let that focus on eachother be shadowed. We have readjusted our sight, and naturally, we are focusing on eachother again, little by little. Relationships take constant work, and we have finally started to balance out that tricky ratio of marriage and children.

I plan on making a laundry list of changes for 2009. Although we thought 2008 was our clean slate, and we wrecked our car 12 days later- we have nothing to loose by hoping the best for 2009. How much worse could it get? So I will make these slight adjustments to my little family and our life, some affecting the people around me, and some only staying within the walls of my home. But it is time for a change. (yes, I voted for Obama, too... lol). My children deserve to grow up in a home and life that is not filled with constant dispute and drama. In one that is financially organized. One that is filled with happy times more than stressed times. One that is surrounded by love.

I have quoted this before, but I have to do it again.
"No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way." (Hebrews 12:11, NIV)


Unknown said...

Here's to a peaceful and blessed 2009 for you and your family, my friend!

Kara said...

You have much to be grateful for in your beautiful mess of a life....

Kara said...

PS.....your tree is BEAUTIFUL!