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Friday, June 27, 2008

I Hate Those Nights....

Oh man, how I HATE those nights.

Last night, I left work at my usual 5pm with an hour commute home. Hubby is already home, or just getting there with the kids by that point, and they are normally so worn out from getting their $150/wk worth of play in that they are asleep by the time he gets them home. He laid them both down in their beds when he got home, so I ran by the store to pick up some groceries on my way. I was home 45 minutes later than usual, whipped up a quick dinner, and watched the clock tick by. It got to be 830p and they were still sleeping! We decided to wake up BabyGirl so she could eat a bit and put on her pull-up for bedtime (wouldn’t want to have to wash her sheets AGAIN this week!). She stayed awake and ate something and was back in bed by 915p. BabyBoy never woke up. That means I went the entire day without seeing my son. Now, tell me I am doing what I have to do for my family by working full-freaking-time out of the home. Bullshit. No mother should ever have to go an entire day without seeing her children. And as much as I wanted to wake him up, I knew our time would be cranky and difficult, so I let my little man sleep. It’s unfair. And hopefully, this will end soon.

I decided in my depressed state to sew a little. I wish I was a stress-sewer like I am a stress-eater. I would surely have a ton more done and be 80 pounds lighter. I got a couple things done. But not caught up yet. It is my goal for the end of the month to finish the quilt I made for my nieces birthday in April. BAD auntie.

This weekend we are going to an event that Hubby’s work is sending us to. I think they are testing him and his dedication by asking him to do the most random things. I am just sitting on the edge of my seat, waiting to hear where they will be sending him for training.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Another Wonderful Wednesday!

It. Is. Hot. I don't really know how I have survived 9 summers, now on my 10th, here in Arizona. It is impossible to even go out and run errands because the sun slowly scorches your skin away! And it takes 1.5 seconds for the car to loose ALL air conditioning built up inside! 112.5 degrees when I just checked, at 330pm. Nice..... where are you monsoons???

This week has been uneventful really..... work and come home Monday and Tuesday. Same ole same ole.

Anyways, BabyBoy had his 9m appointment today (at 9m and 17d). DoctorJ said he was perfection exemplified! He is right on on all his development, growth and cuteness! 20lbs 3oz and just at 29¼" tall. Only 11 more inches and he can rise some rides at Disney. (hehehe) I'm a little concerned about his eating though! By 10.5 months, BabyGirl was on ALL table food. BabyBoy is in no way ready to be there in a month! Don't compare them. Don't compare them. I need to remind myself of that. He DID crawl and pull up earlier than her. I decided if we moved, I would keep DoctorJ as the kids doctor. I love him too much.

Afterwards, we went to MommaL's house. That was so nice. I never get to go over there anymore, for reasons that are entirely too complicated for this blog. I miss being at home at my mom's house, though. After that, we went to Ross after that to return the 2 purses for $90 bucks back. Thank goodness too, because money is past tight right now with our recent purchases, and that is going to buy us groceries!

I'm waiting now on my sister to come by, and then I'm running to a customers house to let her pick out a nursing cover. Thanks for the referral sis. She is coming by to hang out tonight. I miss our Wednesdays. And this will probably be the last one for a while, again.


Just within minutes of posting this, I heard a loud noise outside. Turns out wind was knocking things into my house! By the time I got Chico inside, it started pouring! Ask and you shall receive!

Here is proof:

Listen for the thunder:

Weekend in Flagstaff

The wedding we went to this past weekend was nice! The wedding itself was very pretty, but it was even nicer being out of town in cooler weather! As much as I am NOT a fan of Flagstaff, I enjoy heading there for the different climate and scenery.

We left home at about 830a, and headed up there. I attempted to check in early but the hotel staff was far from accomodating. We got read in one brothers room, and just as we finished up, our room was ready to check into. The hotel we stayed in was completely disgusting though. All the housekeepers and maintenence people lived there, and had a weed smoking ritual every night. I may sound like a spoiled prude, but I really should have spent more to get somewhere nicer. I mean, there were dried boogers on the wall in the bathroom, filthy carpet that my son was crawling on, electricity noises coming form the bathroom outlet, a horrid smoke smell in even the non-smoking rooms, and who knows what else was creeping around in the mattress or bedding.

When we got to the wedding, and much to my suprise, it was outside. So I burned in the 10 minutes it took for them to get married. It really is rediculous how fair I am. The ceremony was short and sweet, and the location was gorgeous.

During the reception, my 2 neices and one of their boyfriends randomly decided they wanted to put holes in their head, and who else did they ask to take them than their favorite Tia, me! So we went up there and I was my neices 'mom'. Ok, so I am 26 and we said she was 16, but it got the job done. We went even further to say I was her boyfriends legal gaurdian so he could get his done. Hey, at least it wasn't tattoos...... We went back to enjoy a bit more of the reception and headed back to the dive-tel.

It was nice to get away, but it is WAY too exhausting to jump right back into work

Friday, June 20, 2008

You Gotta Love a Momma for Obama

This article excites me, being from Arizona, and even further supports the idea I have mentioned time and time again that McCain will only continue the downfall of our country. Seeing the quote "the Republican Party's presumptive nominee has not distanced himself enough from the Bush administration" down in black and white just goes to show I'm not the only average citizen to feel he will be as useless as our current 'president'.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

I'm REALLY liking this

Seriously, why didn't someone tell me to blog before? This is so wonderful. I can just ramble on and on, and it feels so good! Maybe it's cuz I lack true girlfriend time. I don't get to hang with my sister or close friends enough to just sit and talk about junk. I used to sit and talk about the simplest of things before, but once I started gaining more responsibilities in life, there were no more late nights watching Simpsons with BabyO, or sitting around having wine with H....., or chatting all day with Bestie online. This blog (who, for the record, is a wonderful listener) has become a new kind of girlfriend. It's just too bad she doesn't drink Starbucks with me.

Random Ramblings, Thursday

I made some headway on my list of never ending messes.

  1. scrub down master bathtub, sink, counter, baseboards, tile
  2. organize master bathroom cabinets
  3. dust master bedroom, clean baseboards,
  4. organize desk area, balance checkbook and pay bills
  5. scrub down microwave, oven and fridge
  6. organize MaggieMoo Designs studio space
  7. straighten pantry and wipe down washer and dryer
  8. dust living room, and sort out toys BabyBoy has grown out of
  9. scrub tub, sink and toilet in the front bathroom
  10. mop tile and clean baseboards in front bathroom
  11. go through all BabyBoy's old clothes and decide what to keep
  12. organize toys and baby items to be sold
  13. organize BabyGirl's closet and purge old clothes we don't plan to keep
  14. clean the ceiling fans and blinds in the whole house

Thank goodness for my Wednesdays off and my son sleeping until 1115am. Among the light housework I did, I also managed to spend some quality time with my babies, chat a bit with Bestie on the net, and spend some time at the most wonderful retail sanctuary, Target. Once a month or so (not planned, it just happens that way) we end up at Target on a Wednesday. Enough so that BabyGirl knows we go directly to the Pizza Hut food area, get a pepperoni pizza to share and chocolate chip cookies to munch on as we shop. I went because we were out of fuel for my son and laundry soap for the mountain of laundry in my house. Buying formula is one of the most miserable things for my to buy, yes, even over gas. If my calculations are correct, it costs me $16.75/gallon to fuel my son. We are getting about 5 days per gallon. ON TOP of the $5 per day on smooshed and processed peas and carrots. I now remember why I breastfed for 7½ months before I dried up and planned on doing it for a year. Damn boobs. Damn formula companies. Damn economy.

As I complain about spending so much on formula, please do not pass judgement for my next statement. Well, pass it, but I won't really care. I bout 2 purses Tuesday night. I went to Ross, on my niece's, Kmo, suggestion, to completely copy her and buy the same Kathy Van Zeeland bag that she has and I attempt to steal on a regular basis. A co-worker of hers saw it there for half the regular price! They didn't have it, but of course had a couple other KVZ bags I loved. I was able to narrow it down to 2 I wanted to get. Same style, but one black and one bronze. I decided the next day (buyers remorse) I should have only bought one. So I'm going to go to another Ross today and see if they have the one I REALLY wanted. If so, I'll buy it and return the black one I got and keep the bronze one. If not, I don't know. Maybe someone will end up with an 'expensive' bag as a gift.

It wasn't a completely pointless trip though! I was able to get Hubby an entirely new work outfit to keep up his 'professional' look for $20, Hagaar pants and a nice woven button up shirt. I got BabyBoy 2 jersey top and short sets, one Nike and one Rbk, for only $18 total, Baby Girl a cute church dress ($10) and outfit ($14) to wear to a wedding we are going to this weekend, and me a top ($15, reg $50) to match BabyGirl's for the wedding. I forgot how much I liked Ross.

I watched SYTYCD last night also. Bookmark this people. I predict the bottom 4 to be Twitch, Will, Kourtney and Kerrington. I am so proud of Twitch. I love this show. And I miss watching it with my sister.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

What I Wouldn't Give

for a few more hours in the week.....

I look around this house and have no clue what to do with it! If I could just have one extra day, squeezed somewhere maybe between Wednesday and Thursday, where I could have the kids go to a family members house to play so I could scrub this house down. I don't mind cleaning, it is truly just the aspect of time holding me back.
  1. scrub down master bathtub, sink, counter, baseboards, tile
  2. organize master bathroom cabinets
  3. dust master bedroom, clean baseboards, vacuum
  4. organize desk area, balance checkbook and pay bills
  5. scrub down microwave, oven and fridge
  6. clean kitchen counter tops and fronts of the appliances
  7. mop tile in kitchen and dining room
  8. organize MaggieMoo Designs studio space
  9. straighten pantry and wipe down washer and dryer
  10. dust living room, vacuum and sort out toys BabyBoy has grown out of
  11. scrub tub, sink and toilet in the front bathroom
  12. mop tile and clean baseboards in front bathroom
  13. vacuum BabyBoy's room and organize the clutter
  14. go through all BabyBoy's old clothes and decide what to keep
  15. organize toys and baby items to be sold
  16. straighten BabyGirl's room and vacuum
  17. organize closet and purge old clothes we don't plan to keep
  18. clean the ceiling fans and blinds in the whole house

Oh the list continues on with things that need fixed, kept up on, etc. But hopefully I can start tackling this soon. And, by the time I hit number 18, item 1 will need to be tended to again. The joys of being a working mother. I wish we were paid to stay home and raise children and tend home. According to this site, a SAHM in my area with 2 kids should make on average $115,917, and a WOHM should make $67,885 just for being a mom. I don't completely understand why it is half for a WOHM though. Sure, we don't spend as many hours focusing on certain responsibilities, but miraculously the same amount of work and the same tasks are accomplished. But whatever. We are all the best moms for our own kids.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

The Gardener Pruning the Vines

We have been through a lot the past 9 months. All the recent changed in our lives has really got me focusing on all the preparation God has done to get us primed to listen to him.

September 07 I had my gorgeous Baby Boy. That was the beginning of our roller coaster. I spent 12 weeks on unpaid maternity leave. This brought us all the way up until Christmas. Can you even imagine how hard it is to buy Christmas for 2 kids and a huge family on no income? Not even no income, but delinquent on bills, also. Well, some of you can. But I had a couple angels who were in-flesh examples of what the spirit of Christmas and the love of God is truly about. They helped me get over that mountain.

Going back to work in December 07 was probably the hardest thing I have ever done. I cried, and sobbed, and wailed and mourned the loss of my time off with my kids. After being able to take my Baby Girl to work with my until she was 1, I felt taking my Baby Boy to daycare at 3months old was irresponsible and made me that much less of a mother. I felt like a failure.

The whole month of January proved to be a true reflection of failure for all of us. I found out my best friend since early high school and who was 39weeks pregnant at the time was found to have a mass in her brain that was unrecognizable. (praise God that now after watching it, it is of no concern at the current time). In the same breath, on the way to celebrate my Baby Girl's 3rd birthday, we get into a terrible accident, totalling my car. All caused by a teenage girl's assumption that she was invincible and could run red lights without consequence. The choices (to not hit the brake pedal) of one girl caused an earthquake beneath the feet of an entire family. Hubby was banged up pretty bad and to this day we are still dealing with medical bills and insurance issues. And just one breath later, we loose the matriarch and anchor to Hubby's family. His Nana passed away after years of illness and struggle to keep moving forward.

The bad luck ran into the next month, and the month after. I was having issue after issue with the kid's daycare, I was debating accepting a new job that was offered to me, the financial struggles continued to bog us down as we were still recovering from my maternity leave, I was struggling SO hard to get my business off the ground, the kids got incredibly ill for a 2 week span with pneumonia and asthma issues and our faithfulness to attending church was less than acceptable.

For a few weeks, we tried committing to a Young Marrieds Home Group through our church. The people were awesome, it was led by our pastor whom which we completely adore, but we were just having such a hard time attending. It's surely doesn't help that we have such a long commute and hardly see our kids as it is on weeknights. But Hubby's job started demanding more from him, my business was demanding my evenings, we could hardly make it there in a timely manner, and it was expensive and late to feed the kids after group and get them home to bed. I know, God doesn't take excuses, but we just couldn't find the balance of time.
Although we hardly attended, I know God put us in that group for that short time for a reason. As we were telling a bit about ourselves and the hardship we had been through, Pastor's Wife told us of a bible verse that I will now never forget. And after she told us about this, she warned us to be ready for big things, massive fruit. Unbeknown to us, that warning packed so much power. God was preparing us and pruning our branches vigorously for something huge. The 'story' had to do with us being the vine and God being our gardener. Grapevines are very rugged in one aspect, but in another sense their fruit is very delicate and requires being treated with delicate hands. A young vine is not permitted to bear fruit for the first few years. It is therefore drastically pruned in winter months to preserve its energy. The particular branches that do not bear fruit are cut out to further conserve the energy of the plant. If this constant cutting back was not done, the result would be a crop that was not up to its full potential.

It's so hard to understand why God allows us, his children and his vineyard, to go through so many painful trials and tribulations and yet, when we look back over the past, we can see how God was with us guiding our every step and pruning us so our lives would become more fruitful and productive.

"No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But
afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are
trained in this way." (Hebrews 12:11, NIV)

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Our Journey Begins.....

Oh my. I always swore I'd never blog. Who would read? Why type out my life? Whats the big thrill in blogging? I have MORE than enough online space to keep me busy between my online personal life and my online business.......

BUT, I got hooked on a blog recently. This man, a true hero in my book, is raising his daughter all alone after loosing his wife 27 hours after childbirth. I spent 3 hours one day last week reading from the beginning. I felt i had truly become part of his story. After reading his blog, I sat and thought about all I had just absorbed. It dawned on me what release he must have by keeping a journal of events. Working through his sorrow on screen. It seemed so theraputic. And theres no better way, in my opinion, to really sort out the words in your head than to put them down on 'paper'. So, thanks Matt. If you ever come to read my puny blog, it's all your fault.